Key # 7 And Live Support Groups
Do you remember the moment when you first decided to take on the Dr. Phil
Weight Loss Challenge? Remember the moment when you first got your hands on the
book and the excitement you had to start delving into the book?
Many have followed the WLC since day one when it first aired on TV back in
September 2003 and some of us hopped into the challenge somewhere along the way.
We tried not to miss any opportunity to watch Dr Phil's weight loss shows when
they aired to see how the Challengers were progressing.
We saw a part of ourself in some of the challengers and could relate to their
life struggles. Something compelled us to either start or to join a WLC group
either online at the Dr Phil boards or another message board and many joined up
with local live groups. The excitement boiled over!!! This was it!!!
No matter your reason for joining a group, the point is, you joined and for
good reason - YOU! Yep, it was and still is all about you!! No one else must
carry the weight you are carrying around. No one else can do the work for you to
lose it. But support, key # 7, is very important and its always good to know
that there are people out there to support you.
Dr. Phil states in his chapter on "Your Circle of support" that "you must
build and nurture relationships that affirm and uplift you in life changing
ways. Support from people will flow through you like a current, energizing you
to get results and have what you want. There is strength and power in
support."
This is a KEY, a key which needs to be mastered. To unlock this door to
social support, you need to "find people who support you in a meaningful,
purposeful and constructive manner." In a support group setting you need to also
be willing to give it as well. By joining a group, you have opened a door to
opportunity
*to learn from others,
*to share with others who are "working on the same problem",
*to "tap into resources of a group for mutual support and accountability"
*to surround yourself "with people whom you can healthfully interact"
*to be around "people who care about you and have your best interest at
heart"
*to be around "people who want you to succeed, not just for today, or next
month, but for the rest of your life!"
*to keep yourself "from letting yourself of the hook"
Dr Phil goes on to say later in this chapter "this is a person or group to
whom you make periodic reports on your progress" in order to "keep you in check,
from falling short of your goals, and help to recognize slipping behavior". By
tapping into this support system, you will be "motivated to stay on track" and
"much more likely to continue pursuit of your goal".
We must also remember that a support group goes both ways. Its fine to go to
a meeting looking for support but then we need also to remember that there are
several other people there who are also seeking support.
By coming to a group, we must also be willing to give to the group, to
participate in the group and be commited to attending meetings so others can get
the support they are seeking as well. If your missing out on the opportunity to
be accountable and get support by missing meetings, your not only jipping
yourself out of a supportive atmosphere which will help you to reach your goals,
but your also allowing someone else to miss out on an opportunity to get support
when they may need it. You may not know it, but your presence at the
meetings means a whole lot to the group. A drop in group numbers at meetings can
be discouraging to those who are commited to going on a regular basis who really
need your support and want you to be there.
Remember, missing out on a meeting and an opportunity to be accountable and
also to get support is a choice.
Now ask yourself those all important questions:
Is this true?
Is it (missing meetings) in my best interest?
Does it (missing meetings) protect my health?
Does it (missing meetings) help me to reach my goal??
IF you have joined a support group, make meetings an important part of your
new lifestyle change. Make the effort to attend regularily, to be committed to
this key. IF your going to miss out, let someone in your group know your not
going to be able to make it. Be accountable for your absence as well. Don’t let
excuses or negative thinking let you miss out on an opportunity for support from
people who not only care but, also understand your struggle.
IF you talk yourself out of going to a meeting for ANY reason, get your right
thinking in check and answer the Right thinking questions.
Don't let an opportunity to Master Key # 7 pass you by. Be as commited as you
possibly can be to yourself by going to the meetings. Make them an important
part of your steps to reaching your goal.
Make every effort to master this key.
Come on - Get Out Of that
RUT
Actions
speak louder than words. We have all heard that one
said before right? Well
think about that statement. If you
are struggling with Weightloss, grumbling
about how fat you
are, how you wish you did not have the weight,
how
depressed it is making you, get a grip on this statement.
Actions
speak louder than words. Make it your attitude.
Like Nikes Slogan...just do
it!
Talk is just that...talk. Action will get you success.
Action will
raise your level of self esteem because you
know that its not idle talk, you
REALLY do not want the
weight and ARE doing something about it. Action will
get
you pounds lost. As action is taken, the self esteem will
improve and
so will the depression. Why? Because there will
be improvement in your
Weightloss, there will be
improvements in your attitude, because you took the
time to
put words into action and do something about it all.
An
accomplishment! Make the commitment today. No more idle
talk and a
little more action!!! You CAN do it!!!!!!
Next let's talk about
choice.
The choice is really up to you.
We all have the ability to
make choices for ourselves.
You can can choose to either stay
in
your mold,
in your rut
in your box
or you could make the
conscious, life saving, life
enhancing, choice to LEAP out. It require
commitment, it
requires work, but most of all it requires you to
tell
yourself "it really is NOT ok to be at my weight, I must DO
something
about it and make it a life change. I owe it to
me, I owe it to the people I
love."
Choice means freedom. Freedom to make yourself a
priority,
freedom to make changes that will create positive results.
The
ball is in your court to STOP, THINK, and REACT.
STOP - take a moment to
ask yourself the reasons you want
to lose weight. Write them down, start a
journal if it helps. Ask
yourself the pros and cons that losing weight will
bring
you. What benefits will losing the weight make in your
life?
Remember the keys.
THINK - Are you ready to take action? Is this
something you
really want for yourself? Where will you be a year from
now?
Stuck in your rut still or will you look back and
proudly exclaim "I DID
IT!!"?
REACT - Now decide on your plan of action. Get out your
UWLS book and read, read,read, until you "get it".
Reset your goals and write them down. Set your
timeline. Keep
looking at your goals so you never forget. Put them on
your
fridge so you see them. Mark off each milestone when completed.
Make
Every Day count! Be accountable to yourself first and to your
support system as well.
Make changes to your lifestyle you can live
with for life.
Make them healthy choices. Make the effort, get
the
results. Never be stuck in your mold, your rut, your box
EVER
again.
Using the Scale as a Measurement of
Progress
"Your weight does not reflect how healthy
you are or the progress you've made. When you step on the scale, your weight
reflects the combined total of both your lean body weight (muscle, bone, organs,
fluids) and body fat weight. Two people with identical body weights do not have
the same body composition; they could, indeed, have entirely different body
types. For example a 170-pound man might have 60 pounds of body fat and 110
pounds of lean body mass. A healthier, more muscular man might only have 25
pounds of body fat and 145 pounds of lean body mass. Even though these two
individuals weigh the same, one is in much better shape than the other.
Using the scale to measure your progress gives you no information about the
body composition (fat vs. muscle) changes that are actually occurring. The scale
may show that you've lost seven pounds, but it can't tell you that half of the
weight was muscle and water, not fat. Similarly, people become discouraged when
they haven't lost any weight, even though they have actually lost pounds of fat
and replaced them with pounds of firm, fat-burning muscle.
Developing
healthier eating and physical activity habits will most likely result in a loss
of body fat even though the scale may indicate that you weigh the same. Learn to
use other methods of determining body composition and pay more attention to
improvements in how you feel, in your self-esteem, and in your physical
appearance. "
~Exerpt from Article written by Personal
Trainer Chad Tackett - "Effective Ways of Measuring Progress"
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Reflections on the
Journey
The following is a compilation of thoughts shared on 3 different topics in reguards to the WLC. 1. Commitment 2. Staying on Track and 3. Support Groups. Many thanks to all of you who graciously helped to contribute to this list with your shared ideas, with much gratitude!!
It is important to be committed to the keys and to my weight loss efforts
because........
*That's the promise of commitment I made to myself
*I wanted to reach my
goal.
*I was tired, tired, TIRED of being overweight.
*I was tired,
tired, TIRED, of food controlling me.
*I was tired, tired,TIRED of not
being able to wear most of the clothes in my closet.
*I was tired, tired,
TIRED of the seasons changing and me wondering if I would have
anything to
wear for the next season.
*It is a life and death matter for me with the
obesity related factor
*of health problems I am facing; both physical and
emotional. I have tried so many other ways to control my weight that have
failed and I want a permanent change in my life. I know that weight loss
in itself is not sustainable without a change in the way I think, feel and
behave on a daily, long-term basis and the 7 keys address those areas and make
it possible to be successful.
*my life depends on it.
*without them I
would do like I did on so many diets....QUIT, but
with working the keys they
have helped me stay focus and know why I failed before
and why I am going to
succeed now.
*I am worth it!
*I want to be
healthier!
*I will succeed!
*I want to be more active with my kids
*"I
choose life, I choose to
open my ears, eyes, mind and Spirit to change, I
open
myself up to a new dimension of living".
*I need a life style change
or I will die
*I need them to change my lifestyle to a healthy, happy,
positive person. after reaching my goal weight i will need them to help me
maintain.
*being overweight is not something I want
*because I can and am
able to require much more of myself
*my life depends on it!
*not only do the keys effect my weight loss but they effect my whole life.if i am not commited to the keys for my weight loss then i will not be commited to my life and that is just unexcepable.
Things which help me to stay on track are.................
*Having a buddy to remind me of my promise
*Going to the book for answers
when I had troubles.
*Remember what I would FEEL like when I was at my
goal
*Remember what I would DO when I was at my goal.
*Looking at
myself in the mirror every day
*Telling myself that I am worth it
*Knowing
there is a light at the end of the tunnel
*seeing the positive results of my
commitment
*hearing positive statements from others on my
appearance
*Reading the book over and over and over.
*Always keeping in
mind what I would LOOK like when I am at my goal
*motto: "nothing taste as
good as thin"
*Personally, i don't think you can spend enough time
on
getting to your own personal truth. it took me ages. i wrote 4
essays until i finally arrived at my own "personal truth" my first
essay
i cried my heart out, my second, i cried, my third, i sniffled,
and my
last one i was so happy!!!
I had covered the real truth about me
over with so many
rationalizations, lies, and negative thinking that it took
me a few weeks to find the
real me. even now, months later i think
about doing another essay and
i probably will.
*I highly recommend new
comers and those of us that have been around to
do personal truth
essays. as i have gotten better, healthier, lighter
and happier my
personal truth is nothing like it was in the beginning.
so write on
fellow WLCers
*Keeping myself the number one priority in my life without
guilt or
shame.
*Reading the book regularly.
*Sharing my inner most
feelings, struggles, successes and mis-steps
with trusted support
persons.
*Staying very plugged in with those who share my goals
*Using key
one and two to change my thinking/feeling/behavior about
all situations that
cause me anxiety, anger, fear, and especially shame.
*Devising and
implementing a list of alternative activities to
binging.
*Exercising.
*Reminding myself on a daily basis that this is
a life and death
matter for me.
*Writing down what I eat along with how I
feel and what I am doing
and who is there while I am eating.
*having a
picture of myself in a dress that I want to fit into again, feeling
stronger
and fitter and able to do things I couldn't with the extra weight
(like walk
farther, faster without breathing hard or feeling ill), and knowing
that I
am treating myself with tenderness, because I am worth the
effort.
*exercise.
*my weight loss support group message boards.
*a
no fail environment.
*recording my water intake.
*compliments from friends
and family.
*my faith in God.
*when I can accomplish something physical
that I haven't done in a very long
time...like doing the crab walk
and the upside down bicycle exercise.
*fitting into smaller size
clothing.
*giving away my fat clothes!
*weekly support
meetings.
*planning my menu for the week and grocery shopping with a
list.
*acknowledging how much more seat belt strapping is left over when I
buckle.
*knowing that I am making a difference in how my kids will lead their
lives now
and when they are older.
*"Knowing that the next
corner will
be without doubt, without critisism, without judgement
from
other people and myself, ..... I can walk with
my head held high
because I know I am worth this
weight loss, I am totally worth being sweet
wonderful
ME!!!"~
*reminding myself that I can make a mistake and
it
is ok. Tomorrow is another day.
*daily exercise, 64 oz water, changing
eating behaviors, and staying positive
*the support from my family and
friends
*rereading the book helps tremendlessly. It is all common sense and
things we knew, but someone else saying them drives them home.
*being
100% honest and accountable about not only my successes but also my slip ups.
*using the time I exercise to focus completely and totally on myself, what I
am doing, what I am accomplishing and all the reasons why I want to be a success
and lose the weight.
*sticking to a tight schedule!
*my circle of support and the scale.If i notice the scale has gone up or i notice my buddy or a friend say 'you missed the gym,how come?' then i know i need to get back on track and fix something.
The most important things about a support group are..........
*mutual
support.
*getting others' perspectives on things which challenge me
and to
provide those same others with my own perspective on THEIR
challenges, I grow in my knowledge.
*To know that others have
dealt similar challenges and managed to meet them head on and succeed is helpful
to keep me on track in my own weight "challenge".
*In giving my opinions and
experiences, I am able extend a helping hand to
others, which makes me feel
good about myself.
*that everyone shows up as often as they can to lend
support and let us also know how they need support
*that we go home after the
group meeting feeling rejuvenated to take on the work it requires to lose the
weight and feel motivated to keep at it.
*to learn something we might not
have otherwise known through the shared resources of the group
*to build
relationships with people who understand and are supportive and care about my
success and that I can reciprocate that same friendship and build
trust.
*knowing I can be accountable to people who will help keep me on track
and want to see my succeed
*celebrating the milestones and successes along
the way
*knowing there is someone there each week you can count on to talk
to, vent with, celebrate with, get feedback from, that is following the same
plan I am and knows exactly what I am dealing with and can help me possibly find
where I need to be by pointing out some direction from within the UWLS
book
Many thanks to :
Charlene,Sandi,Dina,valerie,Lanaya,Nryane,Nettonya,Carolyn,Jill W,Sheri,Teresa, Crystal Jody and any others I may have missed for helping to contribute to this! Thanks!!
Would you like to contribute to the Newsletter?
We are always looking for people to share their success stories, their journeys, photos, lessons learned, event happenings, anything related to your weight loss journey!! Share your writing talent or let one of our WLC News Team hook up with you and do an interview. The choice is yours. Make this YOUR newsletter with content YOU want to see!
USe your life to inspire others!
Submit them to : WLC Newsletter
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QUOTE: Tip from Dr. Phil
"You have to identify why you don't have what it is that you want, and you have to be willing to say, 'I will take the risk.'
The solution is clear. If you want to overcome the fear of admitting you want more than you have, step number one is to be at peace with yourself. It may not go well, but you have to be willing not to judge yourself if it's not successful the first time. Decide 'I am going to do it until ... I'm not going to do it once or twice. I am going to do it until it works.' Decide that you are worth it, and have no guilt over being at the top of your priority list."
Source: Dr. Phil Website - Tips for the Weight Loss Challenge
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