I am a work in progress and will be challenged time and time again. Life is full of "stuff happens" and that’s just part of the process.

What has made a difference in my life is the fact that I am looking at the complete picture now and not just one small part of it. When I was focusing on just a small part of the picture (always the negative part), I didn’t see that the positive parts way out numbered that small negative part. I always focused on weight. That number on the scale could send me spiraling down to where I saw no hope and certainly no chance for success. At the bottom of that spiral was an eating binge that packed on the pounds even more. I was so focused on the number that I didn’t see all the other areas that I needed to work on before I could work on the number. This was my life for many years. I had been a heavy child when I was about 4 years old and had my bouts of up and down weight from this early beginning. I’ve been on so many diets and have lost so much weight (only to pack it on with extra pounds again each time I took it off for a short time).

This time has been different because this time I am focusing on other areas of my life that are changing. I can handle stress so much better now and it doesn’t send me running to the nearest fast-food chain. My health is under control (my cholesterol reads 177, my triglycerides read 84, and I am off blood pressure medicine for the first time in many, many years). I love to exercise and it is part of a healthy new habit. I have learned to eat better and smarter. I am more flexible, have more energy, and am not afraid to try stuff I thought I would never do. I have forgiven and put to rest some issues in my past that I have no control over. I wrote a letter to my brother who doesn’t want a relationship with me or my children (this has been an open wound in my heart for many years). I told him about my children and that I missed him, that was in Oct, 2004, and he never answered it. I really didn’t expect him to, but it had closure for me. I have put closure to a lot of "stuff" in my past that was eating away at me and made me try to heal the wounds with food.

The things I worked on last year are under control (health, exercise routine, eating better) and it is now time for me to move on to other areas that need work (flexibility, BMI, and body fat). I am a perfectionist by nature (past history got me there) and it has been hard for me to say "Okay I am through with this area (it’s looking good – not perfect – but good) and it is time for me to move on to other areas." I am excited about being able to do this. It gives me hope and the opportunities for many, many successes. I will always be a beautiful work in progress. The Grand Canyon has been a work in progress for a long time and it is always beautiful. I’ve learned to appreciate where I am right now and am excited about where I am going. To me this is the biggest accomplishment I have made.

Alice

Each new day brings about new stressors to overcome and in this process, grasping the concept of daily success and daily living rather than reaching too far beyond has been eye opening. Dr Phil among other experts agree that its good to have the visual of what we will look like in the future and to strive each day to do the things we need to do to get to that visual. What i do today will affect the outcome. Whether it be by making many bad choices and stretching out the overall outcome, or by fluctuations in weight. Any which way, the point is that I need to move with forward momentum, dealing with those stressors one day at a time.

You will face things in your life on a daily basis, some of them minimal and some of them drastic. Either way, having a plan in place to deal with the stress is so very important to the outcome and how it affects your weight. The one great lesson i have grasped onto wholeheartedly is that in any situation, pondering the stress, questioning the stress/stressor, does not produce results for the situation. The situation "is what it is" and the who - what - when - where and why's of it are not as important as the "whatcha gonna do about it" is. ACTION, its all about producing action to get the best results possible, with the least whining and excuses, the least questionning of "why me", but instead having a plan, setting some goals and an action oriented approach to getting through the situation with the least amount of damage, is the most affective, weight loss contributing approach to take.

Knowing this, grasping this, I have overcome many daily stressor - minimal and overly stressful. Key 2 you have been mastered, i really do get it!

For my progress, i have only to update that i am doing well, am on track, and despite my former lack of grasping the "dealing with life on a daily basis plan" and a few pounds gained and lost, it is what it is and because i know better i will do better and by summer I will be at goal if not MUCH sooner!!

Through November and December I gained three pounds. I returned to some old ways of thinking and behaving. I challenged some of my new habits and they were not strong enough to withstand the negative self talk I engaged in.

So, I reread the book and took my inventory anew. I looked at the payoffs I was getting from returning to some of my old behaviors and thinking and it is pretty startling to see. The old fear was back and I was plagued with fears of failing and scared of all the work I thought it would take me to really master the keys! I was afraid to look at the pain in my life! I see that I need to use the keys even more in my life if I want to achieve permanent weight loss freedom.

I can see the progress I have made over this last year. I have really worked on steadily no matter what. I have addressed so many underlying issues, even though there are more to go. I have started to work again and have increased my socializing. My life is becoming more balanced. I have exercised much more often than not and learned a lot about how to eat and move.

I have learned a lot about living in the gray and continuing on regardless of mistakes made. I have learned a lot about not making mountains out of events but keeping them right sized.

I will continue to lose at a steady pace of 1-2 pounds a week culminating in 52 pounds for the year.

I will continue to challenge my thinking in key one and use more right thinking responses. I especially am tackling the remnants of these erroneous beliefs:

This means that I need to use my circle of support even more and be sure to focus my sharing on the keys.

I will continue with the book study, regularly.

I will not eat at my desk. I will exercise daily. I will eat whole foods and I will challenge the feeling of panic that comes when I do not have a lot of food in my stomach. That feeling of panic and the fear of my emotions is where the brunt of the work needs to happen for me this year.

As I continue to lose weight I will feel proud of the progress I am making. I will get my blood sugar down and reduce the wear and tear on my joints. I will start to see my shape emerge. I will reduce the possibility of getting full blown diabetes and all the complications that go with it. I will be able to walk more and ride in airplanes. I plan on taking a plane ride in July.

The work I do on key one and two will enable me to look people squarely in the eye and not feel ashamed or afraid of them.

I plan to continue to eat in such a way that I can maintain for the rest of my life. My focus is portion control and exercise. That in conjunction with the 7 keys goes a long way toward permanent weight loss and a contented life!

One – two pounds a week while working all the keys in my life will put me at 284 next Jan! That will be really exciting to get down below three hundred! For now, I am focused on getting back down to 333. I really do much better going one pound at a time.

365/336/170

Lanaya Baker